Dear Mark,
FUCK YOU!
Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here.
For those that don't know, HP recently announced that "due to the unprecedented economic downturn," HP would be cutting salary and benefits.
For those of us on salary, it amounts to a 5% reduction in our base pay, aka, our salary.
But wait, maybe he does have a heart. He will share our pain. Our fearless leader, the great Mark V Hurd, announced he would reduce his base pay 20%. Wow Mark, that's really selfless of you.
On top of our salary cut, we lose up to 6% in 401k benefits, and another ~2% in stock purchase benefits. So that's somewhere between a 10% and 15% reduction in total compensation. That's a bit more than 5%, Mark. Fuck You!
What does a 20% pay-cut in Mark's base pay do to his overall compensation? Well, let's look at his 2008 pay-package. It says here that we shouldn't worry to much about Mark. Mark made 1.4 million last year and his 20% will amount to nearly $300,000. Ouch, that's three times more than I made. But he'll still make 1.1 million, which is about 11 times more than I made. I think he'll make out OK. Making ten times an engineer's salary is probably about right for a CEO, and I appreciate Mark feeling our pain.
But wait - Mark also took home bonuses and stock options in 2008 to the tune of $40 million! Holy fucking shit that is a lot of money. To put it in perspective, that is what 400 engineers make. That's a bit higher than the ten to one that seemed fair.
FUCK YOU MARK!
So I'm glad Mark will be taking 20% off his 40 million next year - a roughly $8 million dollar pay cut. I'm sure going from $40 to $32 million is going to hurt his lifestyle and ego.
But wait - Mark's 20% reduction is only on his base pay of $1.4 million. Bonuses and options? Oh, I'm sorry, those won't be reduced. So if Mark makes what he made last year (and as Chairman of the Board, he does in effect set his salary), his total reduction in compensation is $300,000/$40,000,000.
That's not even 1%.
You know what I say to that?
Hey, FUCK YOU MARK!
oh, poor baby, you're losing 5,000 a year out of, what was that? Oh yeah, A HUNDRED THOUSAND!!!! Y'know what, man, I work tech support for HP and I say fuck Mark Hurd and you, too.
ReplyDeleteStop whining about a pay cut equal to two months of my take-home pay. I haven't had a raise in two years because I actually make more than our wage cap, and although I gripe about it just to rag on management, I consider myself lucky because I make more than most of my co-workers.
So with all due respect, fuck you very much. You'd have done better not to mention your payscale in this little missive of yours.
Rest assured that we'll join with all the thousands upon thousands of other underpaid and outright jobless sould out there in throwing you a great big pity party. Hope you're not expecting canapes at this shindig, we can't afford them.